Two years old.

Did Did I really have a son?

Or was it a lovely dream?

Did he really die?

Or was that a nightmare?

Did I really use his name and

image to create a mission?

Does that mission help thousands of kids

every year in his honor?

I am not always sure.

Sometimes it feels like someone else’s life.

As if I am imagining it….I am an actress in someone else’s play.

I can hear, see, smell him. I can close my eyes and play movies in my head from days gone by.

Then I open my eyes, live in the present and know it is okay.

I realize I still have a son…. frozen in time. A vivid memory of

laughter and running and climbing and playful energy.

I smile because I realize that there really is an incredible

organization spreading light and hope in his honor.

I am sure of it. The answer is yes. To all of it.

I say yes to every bit of it.

Yes to…the pain and the joy and the confusion.

Yes to being alive and awake and not hiding from any of it.


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