Two years old.

Did Did I really have a son?

Or was it a lovely dream?

Did he really die?

Or was that a nightmare?

Did I really use his name and

image to create a mission?

Does that mission help thousands of kids

every year in his honor?

I am not always sure.

Sometimes it feels like someone else’s life.

As if I am imagining it….I am an actress in someone else’s play.

I can hear, see, smell him. I can close my eyes and play movies in my head from days gone by.

Then I open my eyes, live in the present and know it is okay.

I realize I still have a son…. frozen in time. A vivid memory of

laughter and running and climbing and playful energy.

I smile because I realize that there really is an incredible

organization spreading light and hope in his honor.

I am sure of it. The answer is yes. To all of it.

I say yes to every bit of it.

Yes to…the pain and the joy and the confusion.

Yes to being alive and awake and not hiding from any of it.



Recent Posts

See All


Breathing In and Out Enough to stay alive Seeing Through sun glasses As if watching an old silent movie Hearing Muffled sounds How can people continue to talk? Smelling Nothing at all Touching But not

BE STRONG.Use Words, Not Violence.

© 2020 by Patrick Lives On  - Des Plaines, IL -

Proudly created by Shift2Green

  • Facebook - White Circle
  • Instagram - White Circle
  • Twitter - White Circle
  • Vimeo - White Circle
  • YouTube - White Circle